just part of the journey...

Fear and trembling come upon me,

and horror overwhelms me.

And I say, "O that I had wings like a dove!

I would fly away and be at rest;

truly, I would flee far away;

I would lodge in the wilderness;

I would hurry to find a shelter for myself

from the raging wind and tempest."

Psalm 55:5-8

i must admit... there have been times when i have wished like jenny from forrest gump that i had wings that i could fly far, far away. life certainly deals us some hard times, and the natural tendency is to try to find a way to escape. this is what walter cannon in 1915  dubbed the fight or flight response. i think there are very few times that we actually want to stay and fight. i think we usually fight only because we have been cornered and have no other options.

so i think i have done a pretty good job at "flying," figuring out how to circumvent hardship. i have simply avoided things that i knew would later put me in an uncomfortable situation. but i have done this at the expense of experiencing great things and being put in situations where i am forced to grow.

i have since learned that the key to life isn't trying to avoid hardships or figuring out how to fix them when they come. the key is to live in them. that's right, folks!  live in them. this seems pretty non-sensical, but it is how God, in His perfect wisdom, intends for things to be. 

in one of my classes with dr. barnes last year, he pointed out something very interesting to us about God's chosen peoples' journey from egypt to the promised land. have you ever looked at this on a map? the israelites could have gotten to the promised land in no time. a straight journey from egypt to israel really isn't that far... even on foot. apparently, there was even a highway connecting the two places! but instead, God had them take the long route, wandering through the desert for decades. why? because it is only in the desert that they couldn't have done things on their own... it is only there that they had to rely on God. it is there that they figure out what it means to be the people of God. it is there that they have time to realize that God alone sustains them. this, of course, comes with a lot of difficulty and mess ups. even when the promised land is in sight, they aren't ready for it, so they end up wandering for another 40 years.

our problem is that we want to skip the desert. we want to avoid it. and when we find ourselves in the desert, we are looking for the shortest way out. in doing this, we are missing the point. the objective is not to find your way out. the objective is to live in it, discovering God where He has placed you and allowing Him to use your experiences to move you closer towards Himself. the psalmist knows this. he prays, "But I call upon God, and the Lord will save me... Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." 

i am learning to stop looking for a way out. i am learning to stop looking at the map to find short-cuts and have begun paying attention to the One leading me, trusting that He will lead me out when He is ready... when i am ready. i am learning to look for God in the desert. interestingly, manna and streams abound, proof that God is sustaining me. i have witnessed water flowing from rocks - amazing. God is good and worthy to be praised - even in hard times!

the journey will be long... but the promised land will come. there will be peace because i am learning in this desert to rest in God.

cheers,

jw <><