the putting to death of the fallen self...

...I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me...

Galatians 2:19-20

everyday i wrestle with my humanity. i live selfishly. i think and say mean things about people. i am apathetic. i am not compassionate. i fail to trust God. i pray half-heartedly. it sort of makes one wonder why, if i have been crucified with Christ and He is living in me, i do these things.

the fact is that my fallen humanity is dead. it has been all along. you see, if i can do nothing but sin without the help of God (and sin is death), then my fallen humanity is dead. the problem is that, despite being made alive in Christ, it still has influence in my life. when Christ engrafts us into Himself, who is the Life, He so brings us to life and allows us to share the benefits of His Sonship. however, we are not simply dissolved into God. our humanity does not simply disappear, but we are brought to a place where we can, with God's help, live as we were created to live.

God did not create me to be selfish, or mean, or apathetic, or in any other way that is not of Him. what a stupid thing we say when we say, "that's just the way i am." no, actually you weren't created to be that way. but this corrupted part of me is trying its hardest to pull away from this fire that is burning it away. this part of me wants to be autonomous. it wants to draw itself back into non-being, away from God, where it is comfortable in its misery.

so everyday i struggle with these things. on good days, i remember that Jesus Christ took these things onto Himself on the cross and defeated them for my sake. they have been crucified.

yet, it should be our daily prayer that the parts of us that are dragging us into non-being, would be crucified, for these things do not know that they are dead... and that they are dead-weight. thankfully, we worship a God who, as Nichole Nordeman says, gently moves over us like a river moving over a stone, smoothing out our rough edges, and reshaping us into what He had in mind all along.

cheers,

jw <><